Letting Go

Have you ever decided to finally clean out your house of junk only to find nothing really got thrown out? The goal was to get rid of things not keep them. And yet here we are putting things back where they once were never to be touched again for another year or more.

Sentimental feelings start to flood our emotions. “Oh, I remember when…” We smile and gently put them in the “keep” file. Or “I can use this when…” and again “keep” file. Before you know it your “keep” pile is back to the overwhelming mound you were trying to clear out.

I am learning just as sure as the tide comes in, it will recede back into its source. So too with things in life. We never really lose anything; if anything, we continuously gain. The tide always comes in and so the shore is always willing to let it go for it will return shortly…sometimes bearing gifts.

And so to with things in our lives. We have to be willing to let them go especially if it is of no use to us so that we may receive something new, something even better. But you have to make room for that something new; you have to let go.

Toxic relationships, an unrewarding job, a city that doesn’t serve your desires, an unhealthy lifestyle. We try to convince ourselves that they will change,or things will change, or that things will get better. What are things in your life that you know deep down you have to change or get rid of in order to move into a better space?

Oftentimes, we hold on to them because it’s familiar; it’s what we know. Regardless, of whether it’s good for us or not. We’d rather keep what we know than let go and experience something different, something we don’t know about. The unfamiliar is scarier to us than letting go.

Oh, but let me tell you! Once you empty that cup, the things you truly desire now have room to come into your life.  You gain courage by knowing that what you are letting go of will be replaced with something even better.

But you have to believe it. You have to have faith that what you want in life is coming…just as sure as the tide comes in! Be open to receive!

 

 

 

Live Your Truth

It’s been almost four months since I quit my job & my soul is remembering what joy feels like again!

We sometimes tell ourselves during periods of inspiration that life is too short;  that we will finally delve into something we’ve been meaning to uncover deep in the recesses of our gifted minds or finish that project we started days, months, or years ago.

For the first week or two, we are just pumped up and ready to conquer the world only to fizzle out and revert right back to our old ways.  For some the motivation may even just last for a mere hour…hmm, thinking about my 6 pack ab aspiration :).

Well year after year, I would tell myself that it was time for a brand new start only to let fear get in the way and keep me right where it was comfortable…safe.  However, year after year, I was also slowly chipping away a piece of my soul.

Four months ago, I could no longer ignore the cries of my inner spirit. I picked myself up and told myself it was time to stop complaining. It was time to finally take action and just go for it!

How I was going to make it was a question that I had often asked myself many times before.  This always resulted in me talking myself out of starting anew. I would tell myself that my income was great and that I was seamlessly providing for my family. I felt guilty for even complaining, that I was ungrateful for the life I was blessed with.

But I was not living MY truth. I wasn’t happy, I wasn’t feeling fulfilled. There was a void in my spirit that needed to be filled, and what I was doing was not filling that void.

The yearning in my heart for something bigger and better became greater than my fears and doubts. Questions I had were answered in whispers from articles I read, something I watched, or a stranger saying something that spoke to my spirit.

“The universe has your back” I remember being told.  Nothing I hadn’t heard before but this time it resonated in me. I trusted,  I jumped; free falling into what, I didn’t even know.

I repeated the words, “the universe has my back” like a mantra and divine life provided a parachute for a soft landing onto my new adventure. Yes, there are still some rough terrains along the way but because my soul is happier, it is a lot easier to trek along my new found path!

Escaping the 9-5

I wake up with this dreaded feeling in my stomach about having to spend another day at my current workplace. As I work my butt off and with each accomplishment, my higher ups still are not seemingly satisfied. Their appetite for more is insatiable. As I check off company goals, more are added to a never-ending list.

Hours become days, days become months, and months become years. How did this happen? I feel like I’m in the movie “Groundhog Day”. There’s a glitch in my video life and it’s stuck in one scene and I can’t seem to fix it.

The pay keeps me from making a change along with the fear of the unknown if I do make a leap elsewhere. How will I pay the bills? What if I can’t find another job that will pay me more? What about my children? I try different side hustles that don’t work. So I stay, same scenario, different day.

At one point, as I drove into my job’s parking lot, I broke down and just cried. I was that miserable! I didn’t want to get out of the car. I just wanted to drive away and go anywhere but there, never to return!

Being there made me depressed. I knew, deep down, I had to leave. But to do what? I had been doing this for so long & plus I was pretty darn good.

Okay, I’ll take some time off to get out of this funk I thought. One week turned into two. It hurt my soul to have to come back. I worked one more week and took off again.

I couldn’t do it anymore. I mustered up enough strength & called my boss. “I think it’s time for me to retire.” This of course was just a softer way of saying “I quit!”.

And so my journey begins…

Please share below of things you are unhappy with and what your plans are to change it if any.

Free to Edit

I had a customer the other day stop and tell me to never let anyone take away my smile. The response I gave him came out in such a way that I had to stop and play it back to myself.

I told him that I looked at it in that we were given this wonderful gift called life. A truly blank slate to do with however we want.  And yes, I don’t deny there are things that seem to happen to us beyond our control and yet we survive, we persevere, we move on.

And if we stop to think about it, we are even a bit stronger, a muscle broken down only to be built up as it is pushed beyond its comfort zone.

I believe that we were made to always push ourselves to the next level. It’s the reason why we get depressed or restless when our lives become stagnant. We were meant to grow! Is not life itself about growth?

Could you imagine if our ancestors became satisfied living in caves and just stopped there? This notebook in which I type would have never existed. Seeing and speaking to someone on the other side of the world would not have been possible.

I believe we are wired to live out all the gifts and talents that is within us. We are like a treasure box hidden with valuable and meaningful items waiting to get discovered, waiting to inspire someone, perhaps even our own self.

Our lives could be a verse, a prose, a chapter, a series. Or maybe a haiku…so simple and yet so complicated and deep. We have the pen in which to erase certain contents, or for those things we can’t, draw a line through the parts we no longer want or need.

As cliche as it may sound,  we are truly the author of our lives. God knows, my life probably looks like a graded paper with those dreaded red marks of X’s, lines of omissions, and insertions of suggestions.

But I guess that’s why we are given all these years to edit, to revise, to tear off pages. Sometimes we may even pick up that crumpled piece of paper and decide hmmm, I guess it wasn’t as bad as I thought.  “Naw!!!”, crumples paper again.

So as I hear myself tell this man about this gift I am so appreciative of, this life that I get to explore, I had to ask myself, am I utilizing it to its full potential?

A guidance, a nudge, a confirmation perhaps to continue to scratch this itch I have for change, or should I say, transformation for my life. To write a new chapter or not even that, to scrap the whole thing and try a whole different subject!

Are there stories you have yet to live first before you can begin to tell someone about it? Just like the written word, there is always room for revisions. 🙂

 

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The Peace Man

One morning, on my way to dropping off my youngest daughter to school, we saw this man walking and he throws up a peace sign. He has the biggest smile on his face as he does this.

At first, I was taken aback because I didn’t know this man. Was he actually looking at us? Or was that meant for another car passing by? So naturally, I didn’t respond back.

The next time my daughter and I see him walking, he does it again! He coolly throws up the peace sign along with that welcoming smile. As I look back at my rear view mirror, I notice that he is doing this to every car that passes by.

I later tell my sister about this man and she has already encountered this act that this man does. She confirms that he does this on a regular basis to passersby.  How cute, I thought.

So the next time my daughter and I see him, we reciprocate the act by throwing back a peace sign ourselves. As we do this, we can’t help but smile as well. And so it began, this act of throwing back a peace sign to this man we didn’t know.

There would be afternoons, on our way home that we would also see him and this ritual would continue. We couldn’t help but feel this warm and fuzzy feeling inside. He actually would make our day with this simple act of his! We lovingly named him “The Peace Man”.

We didn’t see him every day but when we did, we would get excited to be able to throw up that peace sign. My daughter would exclaim, “It’s going to be a great day today! We saw the peace man!”.

As the year wore on, we would see less and less of The Peace Man. And when we did, we noticed he hardly threw up those two fingers. He didn’t have that jolly stance to his walk as he once did.

My daughter and I were baffled.  What happened to The Peace Man? Why was he no longer doing the peace signs to cars that passed by? Why didn’t he look as happy as he once did? Who knew this would affect us to the point that we felt sad at this lost act of his.

My daughter and I decided that the next time we saw him, we would initiate the act of throwing up the peace sign. The first time we did this, he looked as confused as we did the first time we ever saw him.  It was quite comical.

As we continued to do this, we noticed his smile was returning.  And although we noticed he was no longer throwing up the peace sign to every car that passed by, we didn’t hesitate to throw one at him.

By now, he seemed to look forward to seeing our car pass by just as we had looked forward to seeing him during our initial encounters.  My daughter would say that it was only right for us “to return the happiness he brought us”.

At one point, I had my mother in the car with me, and she asked us who he was. We told her we didn’t personally know him but he made our day! As most protective mothers would react, she got upset and told us “Stop entertaining that man before he follows you guys and do something crazy!”

Well that thought never even entered our minds, and so despite my mother’s disdain, we continued with this ritual with The Peace Man.

My daughter and I never stop to introduce ourselves to The Peace Man. We concluded that this anonymity was best. The less we knew, the better!

My daughter and I would shout in celebration after each encounter, “It’s going to be a great day today! We saw The Peace Man!”. And indeed it would be!

What simple act could you do today that would make a huge impact on some stranger’s day? What joy could you bring to someone just by a simple smile or “hello”? Or better yet, a peace sign!

 

In the Zone

This past summer, I was needing to change out the plants in front of my house. As I researched the different plants, I noticed the different labels on them, “Full Sun”, “Partial Sun”, etc.  To get the full benefits of each plant, it had to be planted in it’s ideal environment or “zone”. Otherwise, the chances of it thriving was diminished.

A friend of mine from Florida gave me a starter plant that she herself had planted while she was out on a business trip in my neck of the woods. It was healthy and had nice shiny leaves. She described how quickly the one she had at home grew.

Unfortunately for me, I was not in the correct environment for this plant to grow. My area was not zoned for this particular plant. It has now been months and although this plant still looks just as healthy as the day she gave it to me, it also has not grown either. It has remained the same size, its growth stunted.

How true of us as well. Sometimes we are left stagnant in our lives because we are not in a zone where we can display our full potential. Just like the plant that my friend gave me, we aren’t dying but sadly we also are not growing.

What potential are you missing out on by not being in the correct zone? Are you contemplating moving to try out new opportunities in a different city, state, or country? Or perhaps you are thinking about changing career fields. You may even be in a relationship where your individuality has been lost or muddled.

There may be variables in your life that prevent you from tending to your growth.  What was once fertile ground has now been depleted of its resources. However, you have to ask if you’re not growing, are you even really living? Are days merely the rising and falling of the sun?

Plants that are in their correct zone grow full and strong and abundantly.  Are you in a place where you are growing and where your hidden talents bloom and flourish? Are your branches free to stretch out as far as they possibly can?

There may be a hobby that you’ve always wanted to pick up or try.  A new language you’d like to learn. Whatever it is, it may just be the water that replenishes you back to life. It could be something seemingly minor or small but a great fertilizer for your soul (soil 🙂 ).

 

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Feeling Lost

Have you ever driven somewhere and taken a wrong turn? Your surroundings no longer look familiar. All sorts of thoughts start to run through your head. (Think scary movies!) Panic starts to set in. Worst feeling ever!

For some of us, this feels like our life. Not knowing what direction to go, where to turn, what to do. Hoping someone or something will point us the right way.

At times, you may be told exactly where to go, which way to turn, down to the number of lights to pass. Unfortunately, you arrive at that very destination to find this is not where you want to be at all!

There may be instances where you thought you were on the right path only to find a huge DETOUR sign in your way.  Back to that scary, unfamiliar road again. But the thing to remember is that it is only temporary. Eventually, you will be led back to the road you were on.  And despite the minor setback, you are actually farther ahead now.

Or you may even discover that you actually like this new change and find that the original path was actually leading you nowhere anyway. Thank goodness for that detour!

The thing to remember is to keep moving! “But what if I run out of gas and get stuck somewhere?! Then what?!” you ask. Well, what if you stay though and starve! No one may ever come to save you.

“But I don’t know where to go!” you say. That’s okay. Remember to keep moving. Dory from “Finding Nemo” comes to mind. “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming.”

And if you find that you are going around and around in circles, sometimes you just might have to get off that old, beaten path and go off-roading!

Life is an adventure with roads that are straight, winding, and sometimes outright bumpy. The moment you let go of trying to find the exact  “map” to life, then perhaps you can finally get your tight, white-knuckled grip off the stirring wheel and actually look up and around to enjoy the scenery.

“It’s not about the destination but the journey to get there.”

 

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Watch Yo’ Mouth!

Have you ever noticed how certain things happen to you on a regular basis? You cry out, “Oh this always happens to me!” or “This happens to me all the time!”.  Have you ever stopped to think it is caused from the very statement you just made?

If you want to change your circumstances, pay attention to the statements you make. Limit the negative words you say. Find a different way of saying negative things. Instead, find the positive opposite.

Statements like, “I don’t want to be in this terrible relationship!”  do nothing to help you.  Why not say instead, “I want to be in a great relationship!”?  The latter can either evoke you to make changes that cause improvement or give you the courage to leave and end up in a better one. Regardless, the second statement definitely takes your focus off the negativity and moves you towards a better situation.

Begin to speak into your life the very things you want even amidst the negativity that may be surrounding you.  Instead of saying, “I don’t want to be poor anymore!”,  say “I want to be financially free!”.  Again, the first statement puts your focus on what you are lacking. The second statement allows you to think of building wealth. Do you see the difference in each statement? Do you see how each one makes you feel?

So as you change how you say things, this allows you to focus exactly on the things you actually do want to happen in your life.  Does this mean you automatically become a millionaire if you tell yourself that you are going to be? Well not if you do not take ACTION towards that goal. It’s what you are focused on, backed up by an actionable plan to make it happen.

This is how your life will begin to change for the better. Be mindful of your words and take small steps towards your intent. So remember to “watch yo’ mouth”! 🙂

 

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When fear stops us from moving forward.

“There is nothing to fear but fear itself.”

Have you truly understood that phrase? What we are afraid of usually hasn’t even happened yet. However, the story that we have create in our minds stops us from taking the first step towards our desired goal.

Nature gave us this protective mechanism of learning from the past. Unfortunately, sometimes we use it incorrectly. Instead of learning from a mistake and choosing a different route, we freeze up and choose not to do it at all. Or we let old, negative self-talk that has become ingrained in us to surface back up and cause us to doubt ourselves.

However, we have to stop allowing fear to keep us from reaching our full potential. Do you recall when you first learned to ride a bike? Did you give up after the first fall? Why no! You got back on it and tried again, skinned knees and all. We need to recapture that determination, that doggedness that we had as a child and apply it in our adult life.

Feel the fear and do it anyway. Is it scary? Of course, however, you have to ask yourself if staying where you are is better than moving forward. Despite the unknown bringing up feelings of uncertainty, you have to push yourself to believe that there are far better things on the other side of fear.

This blog is my way of pushing myself past the anxieties I feel about writing and to know that there will be learning curves along the way and improvements to be made. Most importantly, to know that it’s all going to be okay in the end.

Is there something that you have been meaning  to do but were afraid or embarrassed to try? Start with something small to build your confidence.  Try something today and don’t delay.  You can do it!  See you on the other side of fear!

 

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My first blog post!

“Start where you are and tweak along the way.”

This blog is a result of listening to that very quote. I, unfortunately, suffer from trying to make things perfect, doing research after research, only to find myself overwhelmed and paralyzed.

I finally broke down one late evening and decided to sign up for a website. Yay! I was so proud of myself. Then fear took over. I stared at the blank page before me and asked myself, “so what now?”. How could something I love doing become difficult all of the sudden? Had I wasted my time? Did I have enough to even write about? Would anyone care to read what I write about?

And so the above quote stared back at me and whispered to my soul…start where you are and tweak along the way.

What is your biggest obstacle right now? How are you motivating yourself to move forward?